Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
5 Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
10 That slepen al the nyght with open eye-
(So priketh hem Nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages
This is another image I made from one of my pictures of myself through the bug-eaten hollyhock leaf.
It does a great job portraying how I experience and interact with my SURreality, both internal and external.
I've managed to learn ways to work through the fibrofog to keep up with email, but not interact on the blogs or facebook yet.
One thing that has become increasingly obvious though is that I need to be doing more of the Word Pictures. They satisfy so many of my needs, needs on every level of Maslow's hierarchy.
Art and creativity address the very basic, fundamental needs of safety for someone in chronic pain because pain threatens EVERYTHING at the most basic level of Maslow- see below.
I could get going on how art therapy ties in to nearly every level, but for now, the key points are:
By providing distraction & relaxation, it reduces pain or at least my awareness of it. That's at the base.
By providing me a way to still live out my purpose in life, which is to help those who are sick and suffering, the outcasts and estranges, the least of Christ's brethren, it addresses the top two levels.
Therefor it is my intention to spend some time each day on Word Pictures, either creating new ones or doing variations of ones I've already done, such as converting color to good monotone, doing portrait versions of ones in landscape format and vice versa, and so forth.
I've finally found a good image hosting site, http://imageshack.us so I'll be able to post ALL the pictures easily in one place.
To make it easier for people to suggest new Word Pictures or request variations on old ones, I created a dedicated email account. Now, I NEVER publish email addresses in plain text... I'm hesitant to even put them in EMAIL! I think there is more spam out there than even dark matter.
So here is the email for suggestions, requests, etc. I embedded it in a Word Picture I started of a hymn, but abandoned because there are trash cans in the background. I have another one about half done.
I created this using Image Analyzer, the function is "increases local contrast." If you zoom in on the upper right hand corner, you'll see the settings.
Then I copied and duplicated and flipped part of the image in PhotoFiltre to fill the space below the IA dialog box.
I tried my best to get it to line up, but think I was a few pixels off, so I
used PF's blur tool along the seam
Then used the pipette tool along the darker green areas to get that color
I used the spray-paint tool to speckle that in.
The original is to the right.
The way I captured this was by putting my camera beneath the insect-ravaged hollyhock leaf with the camera pointed at me. I took many such pictures... over the time I've taken photos of this, I probably have hundreds just of me peering through a leaf.
That's the technical info for you, how I got this shot
The question for you is...
I chose this particular image, and used these filters, to convey something very specific and important.
What story does this image tell, what message does it convey?
When I saw it, I knew it was calling out for a Bible verse
.I laid down for a while- as is the necessity of life for me with fibromyalgia and when I got up, I knew exactly the verse to use!
I took this picture and many similar this morning after a TORRENTIAL rain storm overnight.
(I went down to our creeks and recorded some sweet zen water vids after shooting this.)
Seeing it pulled me out of my fibro-agony, and into a delightful adventure delighting in the goodness of God's creation.I used photofiltre to create the special effects. The file names reflect what I did for each.
Since I'm coposting this to my new "TheArtOfSuffering.blog,com", that's why I'm giving more of the behind the scenes story.
Once I had the base one done, it was very easy to create the effects. I did a number of monochrome versions and uploaded them all because it was easier than trying to decide which is best.The images in this post are hosted at multiply- having a bit of a problem getting up to Picasa web. I can when I will. You may not be able to download high res originals from multiply, but by the time anyone reads this they should be on my picasa album.
I was captivated by the way the sun transformed the foliage... the juniper looked like it was painted in quicksilver.I tried shooting video of the water droplets dripping from the juniper, but I've not had time/energy to review them.
Living with a condition such as fibromyalgia means grabbing the beauty and goodness around you with all your might. I always find my thinking is made more clear and my awareness of pain and related torments less when I get lost in nature and the creative process.
Color engrave
Ok, sorry, quickly running out of steam... the others are at multiply, and I'm working on getting them to picasa, where they will be easier to put in this post.
Here is a slide show of all the Word Pictures at Multiply
fibropathology.blogspot.com - A "mirror" of the one below, created because I wanted a presence on blogger, as many other fibro sufferers blog there.
fibrofog.blog.com - my "personal journey" blog
TheArtOfSuffering.blog.com - Displays the art I do as therapy, and encourages others to do likewise
With this and most such posts though, I will be cross posting here to multiply (and by extension to FaceBook.) Listig.multiply.com is my "root" blog, and will remain so.
However as I've done with the Word Pictures and toothbrush rugs, I find it worth while to have blogs more narrowly focused so people with an interest in these matters can find worthwhile material without having to sift through the eclectic range of things which interest me.
First, the art
This image is the first one I created for the project.And here is the originalFirst off, I love taking pictures of things in shadow (not just myself) because its visually compelling and has nice symbolism to it.The concept of the shadow is a powerful one.In Jungian pyschology, the shadow is the part of our "self" (id, psychae, what ever) which is hidden, repressed, not integrated into the whole.Scripture talks of this world itself as a shadow, as in 1st Corinthians 13:12, the verse which lent its name to my "Word Pictures" project. A compelling image I did with this verse is here.The top image was created from the original by running it through one of PhotoFiltre's engraving filters.The result is exactly what I was after, for it conveys quite vividly how the pain and related aspects of fibro distort reality, darken and warp the suffer's experience of it.Yet you'll notice the gold bits. No matter how thick the fog or overwhelming the pain, there is yet good to be had and embraced. This is a good practice for anyone, but for someone living with a chronic disease/syndrome, its essential.My 2nd eldest brother would appreciate that black and gold are also the colors of his alma mater- Purdue. Don't think that was in my mind when I created it, but its a fun thought.So this image depicts what is for me the most oppressive and distressing aspect of fibromyalgia- "fibro fog."I can't say that working with photography clears the fog... rather it renders it irrelevant. For some reason, no matter how thick the fog, how heavy the pain, I am always able to tap into my dynamic creativity.I become lost in the project, and in this, I find my greatest relief.Besides showing how I cope with and transcend Fibromyalgia, it is my hope that these blogs have the following effects:
They encourage others to likewise tap into their core, embrace and express it
They give expression to the experience of chronic suffering more effectively than words are able to.
Now why it was scary
It was a difficult decision... coming out of the medical closet about this.The two reasons above are very compelling ones. It has always been my way that when life dumps a load of manure, I compost it and grow flowers from it. This has not changed with the onset of fibromyalgia, only the means available to me to do so.I'm not easily scared either...
When I did my chaplaincy residency, I was the resident for the Trauma and E.R., and relished the opportunity to be in situations most people would give anything to have nothing to do with.
When we lived in Chicago, I embraced the city
When the opportunity came to preach my father's funeral sermon, I was honored to take the task upon myself.
Things don't scare me, what scares me are more existential concepts- injustice, xenophobia, hatred, and the like.Yet... anyone who has been needy or suffering knows the pain which comes when people turn away from them in their time of need precisely because they are needy.As a Christian, when this happens I find myself thinking that in this I share something in common with Christ, of whom it was prophesiedIsaiah 53:3 (English Standard Version)He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.That doesn't make it fun or pleasant, nor something I wished for myself.I never woke up and said, "Why should my wife have all the fun! I want to have an incurable complex and ruthlessly painful condition too!"(You see, my wife is disabled with migraines, has been for half a decade.)A Psalm of lament describes this experience most vividly.Psalm 22: 6But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. (ESV)When we lived in Chicago, I conducted an informal ministry to the street volk, of whom this is even more true. I saw people not even bother to step over them... they literally walked ON them.I was honored to receive permission from many to share a bit of their life and story online. A lot of it is pretty raw and graphic, this is one of the few fit for a family audience:I'm sure anyone who's ever been in a time of need and found friends fleeing fast as their feet can carry them understands.Here is an artistic project I did with photos with this fellow, whom I miss and for whom I pray ever day.
I am so frustrated to not be able to keep up online... I can't even keep up with myself.
But some major things have happened, and I'm going to have to figure out how to talk about them, and I'm going to have to figure out how to resume reading your posts and interacting with you all.
I've never experienced anything like this... this "DDOS" attack which has become a way of life. There has to be a work around, a hack, a crack... and I'll find it.
I miss and love you all, I want to be back here, sharing in your live, your joys, your sorrows, your sometimes lame, sometimes twisted sense of humor...
Rug folk... The rugs have been a lifeline for me, a way to stay sane as I've waited for exams, diagnoses, tests...
I think the last shoe has dropped, that my life is no longer going to be an ongoing jack-in-the-box experience.
This is a good thing. I know I'm not terminal, I know what I'm dealing with. I am both blessed and stressed.
I don't want to roll out Listig 2.0 until I have the bugs worked out though... so till then...
A request came in for this verse, and it was my greatest challenge. Through all my thousands of photos, I've yet to capture an Image of God yet... not in the most literal sense.
(If you understand why I had to make that caveat regarding the Imago Dei , you need to take a trip outside the hallowed halls of ecclesiastical buildings.)
Time was short, the need was urgent, my mental horsepower was down around zero, so this was the path of least resistance, but it turned out quite well.
I will do a version in portrait orientation and one with a modern English translation (probably ESV) sometime soon I hope.
I had no particular agenda regarding when I would make a Word Picture for the verse whose reference is the dedicated blog's name. I just happened to be outside taking photos of something else when I noticed that my wife's expression and the reflection of the bird feeders and clematis flowers and so forth were absolutely perfect for this text.
I went with a translation I had not previously even known about- the World English Bible. This is a fascinating and commendable project. Their goal is to create a public domain Bible in the tradition of the King James. Among scholars, the New American Standard Bible has long been held in high esteem, but its licensing is very restrictive. The English Standard Version is a very well done project which tries to maintain a high degree of accuracy to the original languages while still keeping as much of the King James' "ear feel" as possible. The ESV has very generous licensing terms, but the WEB had EXACTLY the text as I would have rendered it. My wife and I were half way into picking through the text when I came across the WEB.
In the process of looking at the different English translations, I came across one which has a very clunky cadence but conveys the Greek idiom especially well and in a way worth mentioning given my choice of photo for this verse.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (Darby Translation)
12For we see now through a dim window obscurely, but then face to face; now I know partially, but then I shall know according as I also have been known.
My wife of 15 years as of yesterday & Pentecost Sunday would wish me to point out that the Greek word used refers specifically to polished metal plates which is what what they used in that time. These were usually made of precious or semi-precious metal such as silver or bronze. Look at any silver object which hasn't been polished in a while... that darkened film which dims the luster of the metal and makes it reflect poorly is the idea here.
People who know me or us from other walks of life will remember that I produced a video using similar images and a poem I composed. Ironically, it was one of the most artistically superior and involved projects I did before I myself suddenly became beset by unyielding and untreatable pain. I hope I can create several other versions of this image with the WEB text.
My hope with each verse I work with is to provide at least two versions: one in landscape, one in portrait. This way they are most easily adapted to any need- care cards, posters, etc.
The name of this blog was chosen by my wife. It is her favorite Shakespearian sonnet. It is the inspiration for one of her first tattoos.
I created this blog because I wanted a discreet place to post health news about me and my wife, and perhaps other major life events which may be of interest to a wide range of people, including those who know me from my videos, my ardent "proselytizing" about my rug craft, casual acquaintances and remote family members.
I have other places where I post more specialized content with a more narrow interest / appeal.
Toothbrush rug (or toothbrush handle or toothbrush-handle rugs) are my favorite craft, and I'm here to talk about them and get others interested in them. - I keep this blog focused on the craft of toothbrush rugs. I have other places to talk about more personal aspects of my life.
This is another image I made from one of my pictures of myself through the bug-eaten hollyhock leaf.
I think there is more spam out there than even dark matter.
