Cadejo : Noun - Legendary Central American cow sized Goat - Dogs

I'd never heard of this beast until today, but I needed some figurative way to describe what a bizarre version of surreality I'm living, so searched for mythical bests, found this one.

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From the wiki:

The cadejo (IPA pronunication /ka.�e.xo/) is a character from Belizean, Salvadoran, Nicaraguan,Costa Rican, Honduran, Guatemalan andsouthern Mexican folklore. There is a good, white cadejo and an evil, black cadejo. Both are spirits that appear at night to travellers: the white to protect them from harm during their journey, the black (sometimes an incarnation of the devil), to kill them. They usually appear in the form of a large (up to the size of a cow), shaggy dog with burning red eyes and a goat's hooves, although in some areas they have morebull-like characteristics. According to the stories, many have tried to kill the black cadejo but have failed and perished. Also it is said that if a cadejo is killed, it will smell terrible for several days, and then its body will disappear. Some Guatemalan folklore also tells of a cadejo that guards drunks against anyone who tries to rob or hurt them. When the cadejo is near, it is said to bring about a strong goat-like smell. Most people say never to turn your back to the creature because otherwise you will go crazy.

In popular etymology, the name cadejo is thought to have derived from the Spanish word "cadena", meaning "chain"; the cadejo is at times represented as dragging a chain behind him. There is a fairly large member of the weasel family, the tayra, which in common speech is called a cadejo and is cited as a possible source of the legend.

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See wiki article for the rest
Image from: http://trianacartoon.blogspot.com/2009/07/el-cadejo-version-triana.html

I thought the idea of my "pain" and "condition" being a white and a black dog-goat was very apropos!